I am a strong, confident, independent woman.
I have sucessfully navigated the breakup of my marriage; made it through losing my job; dealt with the loss of my Grandfather and my Step-Grandma the very next day; moved by myself to a new state in the middle of the ocean. I have overcome fears, worked through personal issues, turned myself into a better person.
Why oh why, then did this happen last night (I'm going to try to describe it exactly as it happened)
My roommate and I are sitting on the couch watching golf. I am telling him how I read an article online that says you are supposed to drink a TON of water every day. (I did the calculations and I should be drinking 6 to 8 16oz bottles of water a day!! 6 TO 8!!) We were discussing how that drinking that much water, you pee ALL THE TIME.
I say "Man just talking about it, makes me have to use the bathroom."
He laughs as I walk towards my bathroom.
I go in and do my thing. As I am sitting there, I notice something on the floor. I quickly finish the business at hand.
I squeal (yes it was technically a squeal) JOHN!! (roommates name)
Silence from the living room.
JOHN, I squeal just a little louder.
Ummm, What? he replies nervously.
Get in here please!! I say in a high pitched girly voice.
He hesitantly sticks his head in the door.
What, he says.
THERE! I point. Can you please get that for me?!
He laughs at me. Tina, it is a 2 inch baby gecko. It's not going to hurt you.
But it crawls around really fast!! Please get it!!
He says, I can't catch it... it's too fast. It won't hurt you, don't worry about it.
At which point I glare and him and run (yes run, or maybe it was scurry...) to the couch and jump on it with both feet.
I sit with my legs curled up under me (no way am I putting my feet on the FLOOR!)
John is totally cracking up. He says, Gecko's are good. They eat bugs.
I don't really care, I say, cute gecko lizards are supposed to live OUTSIDE!! Not in my bathroom.
He keeps laughing.
About an hour later, I decide it's time for bed. I cautiously walk into my bedroom and scope out my bathroom. No Gecko in sight. I think I am safe for now. I scope out my whole bedroom. No gecko again. John, meanwhile, is sitting on the couch watching me through my bedroom door totally laughing at me. I tell him he's not being nice and to stop laughing at me (of course I couldn't help but laugh at myself as well... I mean really, how ridiculous was I being?!) I also told him that the gecko had moved into his room and was going to crawl on his face for laughing at me.
He said he didn't care. Gecko's were cool because they ate mosquito's and stuff.
Bah, I told him.
So why is it that a TINY LITTLE ITTY BITTY gecko lizard can reduce this strong, confident, independent woman to a blubbery, squealing, roommate calling, little girl?!?! I don't get it. I mean gecko's don't bite. I think it's because they are so crawly and fast...
The only way I can somewhat redeem my strong woman status is to tell you that this morning I found the gecko again. Yes, I squealed and jumped around a whole lot. But I dug DEEP and found the courage to get a box and a piece of paper. I fought the urge to RUN and very confidently standing on my tippy toes (cause that makes it less likely for him to run at me... huh?!) brushed him into the box and liberated him to my lanai (patio for you mainlanders!).
There. I am once again a strong (squealing), confident (jumpy) woman (little girly girl).
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4 comments:
hahaha!! You crack me up!! I find lizards in my huse ALL THE TIME!! Mostly thanks to the little people that learned from their father to leasve every door in the house OPEN!! What is it with those Clobes boys?!?!
How cute! Bring one home next time you come!! I want one!
hehehe! oh tina! the smallest things can bring down the greatest empires, civilizations and yes...even you. (i woulda been freaking out right there with you!)
You are hilarious Tina...I can see why your roommate was laughing!
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